*Sigh*…look, I’m not gonna lie to you, the only one in this school who has a chance of doing anything after graduation is Kate Mara, and even she’s gonna end up in that shitty FANTASTIC FOUR reboot in another nine years. Of course, that depends on your definition of “cool X-Men shit”. But I promise you, at the very end of the movie, you will get to actually fight a bad guy and do some cool X-Men shit. Here at the Zoom Academy, you’ll be trained by a goateed Tim Allen to use your mutant powers for…playing baseball…getting paintballs shot at you…using a UFO to go pick up some food at Wendy’s…electrocuting Chevy Chase with lightning…uhh, look, I’m not gonna lie, the Zoom Academy has gone through some pretty drastic budget cuts.

With Hugh Jackman baring his adamantium claws for one final time this weekend in LOGAN, it’s time to revisit this unsuccessful attempt to copy the X-MEN franchise: ZOOM: ACADEMY FOR SUPERHEROES, starring Tim Allen, Courteney Cox and Chevy Chase! If Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters was your first choice for a mutant academy, and Sky High was your pick for a safety school, think of Zoom’s Academy for Superheroes as the low-rent community college you’re forced to pick after both those schools reject you. Zoom was nominated for one Razzie Award, Best Actor for Tim Allen (also nominated for The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause and The Shaggy Dog), but he lost to the Wayans brothers Marlon and Shawn Wayans for Little Man.Stars: Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Kate Mara

Released theatrically on Augby Columbia Pictures, the film was panned by critics and was a box office bomb, earning $12.5 million on a $75 million budget. The film details a former superhero who is dragged into training four superpowered youths in becoming superheroes and combat an approaching threat. Based upon the children's book Amazing Adventures from Zoom's Academy by Jason Lethcoe, the film stars Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Chevy Chase, Spencer Breslin, and Rip Torn. Zoom (also known as Zoom: Academy for Superheroes) is a 2006 American superhero comedy film directed by Peter Hewitt and written by Adam Rifkin and David Berenbaum.

Zoom the superhero